Fanfictionnet
by wyredsisters
Summary: Harry and Co take a look at . See their comments and feelings towards the stories posted. Rating for slight sex. Bit of Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny, but not too much. Don't read if you absolutely LOVE any ship.
1. Fanfictionnet

A/N: So I came up with this and wrote it all in one night.  It's pretty good, I think.  I am not against Ron/Hermione, Ginny/Draco, Hermione/Fred or George, Hermione/Draco or Harry/Ron.  I know all of these can work, but the characters don't think like that.  Anyways, enjoy.

"What is this funny square shaped thing?" Ron asked, tapping the computer with his finger.  He, Ginny, and Harry were spending the summer at Hermione's house and so far they had spent most of the time watching the Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs.

"It's a computer," Harry explained.  "You can play games on it, or communicate with other people through it.  You can also see information."

"Let me turn it on."  And Hermione did.  She brought up her AOL account.  "Here, I can check my email (like letters, but no owls involved), talk to some friends (well, not really talk, but I can send them words, and they send them back), and visit pages and pages of information," Hermione told Ron.

"Anything to stop the Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Ron moaned.  "How many more episodes are left of that, anyway?"

"We've only watched the first season.  So there's forty-four more episodes," Hermione said.  "And it's not that bad."

"Yes it is," Harry countered.

"What do these funny things do?" Ginny asked, changing the subject.  She reached over and pushing a few of the keys on the keyboard, randomly.  The computer started to pull up a site.

"You enter what site you want to go to with that.  It could be a game site, or a school site, or... fanfiction.net?  I wonder what that is?" Hermione wondered.  The computer screen pulled up a page which had a blue column running down the right side and a few links.

"What are those for?" Ron asked.

"You click on them," Hermione started, doing so.  "And they pull up another part of the site."

"Why'd you click on 'books?'  I'd rather see a movie," Harry complained as a page full of blue links came on the monitor.

"Because it's my computer and books can be much more educational then movies and-"

"Why does it have Harry's name on it?" Ron asked suddenly, pointing to a link, which was titled "Harry Potter."

"No way," Harry commented.

"Click on it!" Ginny urged.  Hermione did.

"'Once More With Feeling: The Harry Potter Story,'" Hermione read.  "'Harry starts to date a girl over the summer, but she's dating someone else, too!  Can he win her back?  Will he fact that he was overcome with a singing spell help, or push her farther away?'"

"'Harry Potter- PG-13 - English -Romance/Drama -Chapters: 10 - Words: 9040,'" Harry continued.

"Oh, I get it.  It looks like someone wrote a story about Harry's life," Ginny figured.

"Hey.  Click on those things about characters," said Ron.

"It's a list of people," Hermione exclaimed.  She clicked on her name.

"Why'd you click on your name?  Click on mine."

"Oh, take it easy Ron.  There's another one here.  I'll get your name for that one."  Hermione rolled her eyes, as she clicked on Ron's name.  She then clicked 'Go.'

"No way!" Ginny screamed.  The first story to pop us was rated PG-13 and was called, "Showers and Baths."  "Ron and Hermione get trapped in a bathroom together.  Oh, the possibilities!"

"Okay, that's wrong," Hermione said loudly.

"You mean you don't want to take a shower with me?" Ron said, looking hurt.

"Shut up.  I wonder why Viktor isn't on the list," Hermione mused.

"Click on my name," Ginny said, preventing the attack on "Vicky" that would most likely follow.  "And... uh... Malfoy?"  Ginny shouted the last word in surprise.  She had no idea why anyone would write about Malfoy.  "I didn't mean click on Malfoy!" she then shouted at Hermione, but it was too late.

"Oh my God," Ron exclaimed.  "There are a hundred and two pages of these!"

"And those are just the G-PG-13 ones.  There could be more under R."  Hermione got an evil grin and clicked on the rating, R.  She then clicked 'Go' again.

"This is silly," Ginny claimed, as everyone else opened on and started skimming down the pages of a story.  "I mean, I've only ever said four words to him and-"

"Oh my," Harry said, gaping at the screen.

"Urgh," Ron moaned.  "I'd kill him if he did this."

"Its positively obscene," Hermione declared.  She tried to press the back button, but Ron's hand shoved hers out of the way.

"I'm reading this," he said, smirking.

"Oh, for Heaven sake," Hermione exclaimed, sitting back and letting him read.

_"Oh, Draco!" Ginny moaned as she felt his hands caressing her, bringing her closer to her climax.  Her hand rubbed up and down his strong, muscular arms._

_"Ginny, Ginny," Draco groaned as his tongue swirled around her skin.  She moaned and cried as he entered her.  "Better then your Potter boy, I image," he sighed his voice growing louder with his high point._

_"Yes!  Yes!" Ginny screamed.  "Fuck me, Draco.  Fu-"_

"Okay, that's enough," Ginny said, abducting the mouse and managing to hit the back button.

"I was reading that!" Ron complained.

"There is no way Malfoy is better then me," Harry muttered.  At the look from is three friends, he added.  "What?  There's not!"

"What happens when you click on one of the author's names?" Ron asked, still pouting from not being able to read.

"Let's see."  Hermione took the mouse back from Ginny, and clicked on the name (not the one that had written the previous story) 'DrAcO's DaRk BelLe.'

"Hey to anybody who takes the time to read this! I hope that you will read my stories, and review it and if you have any ideas to offer at all just im or e-mail me sometime. Or if ya just wanna chat, feel free! By the way, I'm a huger than huge fan of Harry Potter's along with J.K Rowling, and I along with sooo many others can only thank J.K Rowling for her bloody brilliance!   
Now about me?  
Letz see... I am an obsesser over many things along with, Draco Malfoy! Such a hottie! Along with Ron Weasley!!! OH.MI.GOD!!! Now besides guys that I obsess over lol, hmm I'm a writter or at least I hope to be.. I love to write poetry (not all are sappy, lol) and I absolutely, positively LUV SOCCER!!"

"I have never seen so much bad spelling in my life," Ginny said in awe.

"She thinks Malfoy is hot?" Harry exclaimed.

"She thinks I'm hot!" Ron shouted, pumping a fist in the air.  "Yes!"

Hermione scrolled down.  "'Rebound Love Is Hell," Hermione read aloud.  " The know it all, book worm, and class brain, Hermione Granger, has gotten herself in trouble. She's pregnant, but that's not her only problem, she doesn't know from who. Or is it...which?'" Hermione's voice got higher pitch as she read on.

"No way in hell!" Harry laughed.

"Let's read it!" Ginny suggested.  At the looks she got, she added, "It'll be fun."

Hermione sighed as she clicked on the link.  The story popped up.  It started with Hermione crying over Malfoy breaking up with her.  "Ha!" she laughed.  "This is so... not going to happen!"

"Well, you never know," Harry said.  "Now scroll down!"

Hermione obliged.  While they were reading the part where both Fred and George decide to comfort her at the same time, Hermione tried several times to hit the back button, but the mouse was abducted every time she tried.  "This is not fair."

"You let them read the story about me," Ginny said.

"Okay.  I think we've had enough of this," Hermione said, as she finally got the mouse and began moving it towards the 'X' at the top of the screen.

"But this is fun," Ron complained.

"How about we look at all the Ron/Harry's that are out there, then?" Hermione threatened.

"On second though," Ron said, jumping away from the computer.  "Who wants to watch another Buffy episode?"

Disclaimer:  The characters are not mine.  The author name Draco's Dark Belle and her profile are not mine, but a friend of mine who I hope never reads this.  She also did right the story about Hermione/Fred/George.  But OMWF: the Harry Potter story is mine.  And so is the exert from the story, but I just made that up for this.  Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not mine, though I do own all three DVD's and the fourth one has been shipped.  


	2. Late Night Discoveries

A/N:  Well, the last chapter was so much of a success (for me that is) I decided to write antoher one.  And another one after that.  If you have any ideas, please say them, because I'm mainly going on your suggestions here.  I actually have to give credit to Ajuxliapose for inspiring me to write this chapter.  And on to the disclaimer.

Disclaimer:  The characters aren't mine, the site isn't mine, and Buffy isn't mine (though I kinda wish Spike was but that doesn't matter because this isn't a Buffy fic).  More detailed disclaimer at the end.

Chapter 2

The computer screen glowed white in the dark room.  The time 12:07 AM was at the bottom of the monitor and Hermione Granger started scrolled down.  She had been reading for an hour when Ginny finally fell asleep and she could sneak back to visit fanfiction.net.

"BOO!" someone cried behind her.

Hermione let out a short cry and jumped. "Ronald Weasley," she hissed, spinning in her chair to see Ron crouched behind her.  "You want my parents to come in here?"

But Ron was too busy laughing to here her to listen.  Harry was also laughing hysterically in the door way.  "What... are you... reading?" Ron managed to say through gasps of snickering.

"Nothing," Hermione said quickly, minimizing her page.

"You didn't go back to fanfiction.net, did you?" Harry asked.

"No," Hermione said innocently.

"Right," Ron said, grabbing the mouse and bringing the story back into view.  "Let's read this here."  Ron then proceeded to skim over the following text.  He then turned back to Harry, raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"What?" Harry asked, oblivious.

"Nothing," Ron said simply, snickering a bit and turning back to the story.

"What is it?" Harry said moving closer.  "It's not me and Malfoy.  Is it?"

"It's much worse, mate," Ron said.

"What?" Harry craned his neck to look at the screen.  "No."

"'Fraid so."

"No.  No, Hermione you didn't."

"Sorry, Harry.  But I just wanted to see what they'd be like."

"So you looked that the Harry/Snapes!" Harry shouted. 

"Shh.  I don't want my parents to know I'm reading this crap," Hermione hissed.

"Okay that's it.  Ron, you hold her down, I'm going in," Harry ordered.

Ron pulled the chair that Hermione was sitting on away from the computer.  He wrapped his one arm around her, holding her down.  The other one covered her mouth so she couldn't bring her parents into he room.  "Go, Harry," he whispered.

Harry pressed the back button and turned the first character name to Hermione.  He opened the second one and looked at his choices.  "Which one, Ron?"

"Err...Flich," Ron decided.

Hermione said words that she was glad were muffled behind Ron's hand.

Harry clicked 'Go.'  "Four?  That's it?"

"Should we read one?" Ron asked.  "Because, she read the one about you and-hey!  Did you just lick me?"  Ron pulled his hand away in disgust.

"Trick I learned babysitting.  Don't do that again," Hermione warned.

"Ew," Ron said, wiping his hand on Harry's shirt.  Harry glared, but decided arguing would be fruitless.

"Why don't we read a Fleur and me?" Ron asked hopefully, after he was finished. 

"Because that would be dull," Hermione said.

"Hey!" Ron complained.  "You know you'd be looking at Vicky and you if they had made the mistake of putting him on the list."

"Okay," said Harry, interrupting Hermione who had just started to open her mouth.  "What do you say we call it a night?"

"No.  I just want to look up one more thing," Hermione bargained.

"Go ahead," Harry said, letting her at the computer.  She quickly made the character selector point to Ron and Harry.  She started laughing uncontrollably at the guys faces when they saw this.

"'Ron confesses something to Hermione on the Quidditch stand during the first task,'" she read through breaths of laugher.  "'Why can't he tell Hermione and why does she run from the tent declaring they're stupidity?'"

"What a load of rubbish," Ron commented.  He turned to Harry who was staring at him intently.  "What?"

"Did you?" Harry asked.

Ron let out a "Ha!"  "No," he said.  "No, no.  Ew."

"Okay good," Harry said, though he still looked somewhat suspicious.

"Okay, who wants to sleep now?" Hermione asked.  Both boys glared at her.

"Hermione and Ginny?" Ron suggested, an eyebrow raised.

Harry nodded and Ron grabbed Hermione again.  Once he had her trapped in the chair, Harry proceeded in reading all the Hermione/Ginnys he could aloud.

"Fine, fine.  I get the point," Hermione groaned after five stories.  "No sleep.  So, what do you guys wanna do?"

"We could read Ginny stories," Ron suggested happily.

"We could read Ginny and Ron stories," Harry suggested, even more happily.  Ron hit him.

"Or, we could watch some more Buffy," Hermione recommended, carefully.

"I'd rather not do either.  Hey.  What's this?"  He pointed to a small paragraph at the beginning of the story that Harry had been reading.  It was labeled "Disclaimer." 

"Disclaimer: Though I wish I owned millions, Harry Potter and the other characters from the books belong to J.K. Rowling," Hermione read.

"Characters?" Harry asked, quietly.  "We're characters?"

"In books?  You mean people read about us?  Our lives?" Ron questioned no on in particular.

"Harry, Ron.  If we're characters in story books, then... then that means that... we don't exist."  The three friends shared a look at Hermione's words.

"We have to exist.  I mean...I'm here," Harry reasoned.  Hermione patted him on the back.

"Let's just go to bed," she suggested.

As they opened the door, Ginny stepped out of the shadows from the hallway.   "Not real?" she asked.  The three of them nodded.  "Oh," she looked down, but looked up soon after, an evil grin on her face.  She grabbed Harry's face and kissed him.

"Ginny!" Hermione hissed.

Ginny pulled herself away from Harry, who was looking rather confused.  "If I'm not real, I have to let my adoring audiences have something interesting to read!" Ginny screeched, with no regard for Hermione parents, and ran down the stairs.

Hermione chuckled at Ginny's antics.  Then she turned, grabbed Ron, and kissed him, before rushing down the stairs after Ginny.

Harry and Ron looked at each other quizzically for a moment.  Then Ron cleared his throat and shouted, "First one to kiss Hermione buys all chocolate frogs next year!"  And with that, Harry and Ron raced downstairs.

A/N: That seemed sad for a moment, so I had to make it funnier again.  Next chapter will show another group stumbling across our beloved fanfiction site.  Bet you can't guess who it is!  

Okay, I made up the disclaimer.  But, the Harry/Ron is mine.  It was my idea and my sister and I wrote it.  If anyone wants to check that out, they can.  Its called You two are so stupid, and it's under the G Harry/Ron's. 

As I said before, ideas are appreciated, and probably will have something to do with the next chapters.  My thanks again to the person who I thanked earlier who has a really long name that I don't feel like typing again.  She gave me the idea about having them find out they're only characters. 

Keep reading everyone!


	3. Prophecies

A/N:  Sorry it's been a while.  Schools started and everything.  And I had a case of writers block.  Wasn't sure what I wanted to happen in this chapter.  There's a switch, today.  We have the dark side looking at fanfiction.net.  I think it's kind of funny.  Enjoy.

Disclaimer:  I did not create fanfiction.net.  I did not create Draco.  I did not create Lucius.  I did not create Voldemort.  I did create the story, kind of.  I looked up an R rated Voldemort/Harry, looked at the title of the first one, changed it a bit, and wrote a summery surrounding it.  I like it, wouldn't be too bad to write.  Except for... Harry/Voldemort?  Anyways, that was a really long disclaimer...

Chapter 3

The door to the old house creaked open slowly.  Two shadowy figures creped inside, their dark cloaks covering they're true identity.  They stealthily moved toward the back of the house, when one of the dark figures tripped over a desk.

"Bloody hell!" he shouted, rubbing his injured foot.

"I though you said we had to be quiet," the other one said, sounding rather confused.

"No, that was just outside.  We could be as loud as we want now," he stated, flipping his hood back to reveal long silvery blond hair.  "Now, what is this confounded thing?" he asked his son.  Lucius tapped the contraption that was sitting on top of the hated desk.

"That is a computer, father," said the boy, also taking off his hood to reveal similar hair.  "I learned about it in muggle-studies."

"Ah, yes.  Dumbledore made you take that after you got in too many fights with people defending mudbloods.  I forgot."

"Yes.  It was dreadfully dull," Draco declared.  "This button here, turns it on."  Draco pressed the power button and the computer slowly began to start. 

"This is fascinating, Draco, but we are supposed to be finding out about the muggles that live here.  The..."  Lucius consulted a piece of paper in his hand, "Thomas's."

"Dean Thomas?  Gryffindor prat!" Draco commented, pressing the mouse to bring up the internet.  "We can find out about people here.  We can see what they like to do by seeing what they put on they're tool bars."  He pointed to the toolbar with the mouse.

"Let's see that one," Lucius decided pointing to the one on the right.

"Okay."  Draco clicked.  "Fanfiction.net," he read.  "'Unleash your imagination and free your soul.'  Sounds like porn."

"Let's see.  You should go to books, because this other stuff is all muggle jibberish," Lucius ordered.

"Okay.  What's here?  Doesn't look like anything...Wait.  Harry Potter!"

"It could be the plans for taking over the world!" Lucius said excitedly.

"Does Harry Potter want to take over the world?"

"If we're not in control of the world, then he is," Lucius reasoned.  "Click on him!"

"Okay."  And Draco clicked.  "Characters?"

"Go to Harry Potter!  Then Voldemort!  Go!  GO!  Oh, the Dark Lord will be so happy we found this."

Draco did as he was told.  He read aloud the first story that popped up.  "'In Forgetfulness.  SLASH. Harry Potter is captured by You-Know-Who.  Amidst the torture, something terrible happens:  He loses his memory.  Will this be just what Voldemort needs to make Harry Potter one of his minions?  Or will something else unexpected happen?'  It sounds like a prophecy, Father," Draco commented.

"Yes!  This is just the break we've been looking for!"

"What is?" said a cold voice from behind them.  The two blondes slowly turned around.

"Master," Lucius said, suddenly serene, "We believe we have stumbled on to a prophecy about you and Harry Potter."

"Is it the one that you failed to retrieve last summer?" Lord Voldemort said.

"No."  Lucius looked grumpy.  "It's a different one."

"Let us see it.  Boy!" the Dark Lord bellowed.

Draco quickly clicked.  He began to read the story aloud.  

_Harry Potter awoke.  He was surprised to see himself in a cold dark chamber.  His hands were bound above his head and their was a slow dripping from somewhere in the dungeons._

"Spike ahead, boy!" Voldemort screeched.

Draco hurriedly skipped a few chapters.  He then placed the scroll bar to a random place and began to read.

_"Potter.  You impatience aggravates me.  When will you tell us what needs to be known?"  Voldemort's chest rose up and down in his anger.  Sweat glistened on his brow. _

_"I already told you.  I don't remember anything.  Would you let me go?" pleaded the green eyed wonder._

_"No.  If I have to torture you, I shall."  The bald one then proceeded to take of Harry's shirt.  His pale skin gleaming in the torch light of the chamber.  Voldemort proceeded to take a bull whip and beat Harry Potter's smooth skin._

_The boy let out cries of pain with something else mixed in.  Something that made Lord Voldemort become-_

"It IS porn!" Draco shouted vehemently.

"Lucius, what is the meaning of this?"

"I'm sorry my lord!  I thought it was a prophecy, so-"

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Pissed-Off growled, "I will not do anything now, because you are with your son.  But me warned, Malfoy, it will come."__

Draco started snickering.

"I mean the torturing!" Voldemort specified before quickly Disapparating.

Draco continued to snicker.  "Come..."

"Oh shut up," Lucius said, before leading him out of the house.

A/N:  There you go!  Hope you liked it.  It didn't have as many funny points, but it had its moments.  Oh!  How many people think I should make this R?  Ailsa thought it should be, and I was wondering what the general consensus was?  I thought it would be strange for a fifteen year old to right an R story, but whatever.

Ajuxliapose:  Sure, do Snape.  I was going to put him in this chapter, but I didn't just for you... And it was too hard to get him to fit.

Little-Bit:  No!  Not you too!  The anime bug has affected everyone!  Run!!! (j/k)  Hey, what was that thing about plagiarism?  

Uncontrollable:  Was that a funny thing to do with Voldemort?  Hee hee! 

Angl:  Hey!  You don't say anything about Bob.  I feel ripped off.\

Hyper-chika:  I've do that all the time!  It's so funny!  This is why it's fanfiction.  It's not going to happen, so we make it up ourselves (except sugarquill.  They don't count.).  I love Draco/Ginny!

fadafordqt:  I think you want me to read that story.  I am suspicious.  

Okay, I think that's everyone I needed to talk to.  I'm sorry if I didn't put your name on there, but these are mostly people who asked me a question or proposed something.  I'll update soon, but I think I'm going back to the original group.


	4. An Unexpected Vistor

A/N: Yeah, it's been a while.  But here's the next chapter.  Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  I don't think I even ripped of any stories this time, but the characters aren't mine.

Chapter 4

Hermione bounded over the couch, giggling gleefully as Harry and Ron chased her.  "Help, Ginny!" she cried.

Ginny, also snickering, placed herself in front of the two boys, blocking they're way and giving Hermione time to escape.  She leaped at Harry, pinning him on the ground.

"Hey!  No fair!" Harry complained, trying in vain to push her off him.  "Why couldn't you attack Ron?" he whined.

"Because he's going to trip over that chair in the kitchen,"  Ginny explained. 

"I did no-OW!  Okay, WHO PUT THAT TABLE THERE?" Ron yelled from the other room, which was followed by a giggle from Hermione.  Both Ginny and Harry then heard the back door slam.

"It looks like I'm going to be buying all the chocolate frogs this year," Harry grumbled.

"Woe is you," Ginny joked.

"So...you want to get off me?" Harry asked.  Ginny, suddenly realizing that she was still laying on him.

"Sorry," she gasped, quickly sitting back and standing up.

Harry nodded.  "Hey, while they're busy out there, what do you say we check up on what our readers think we might be doing?" Harry suggested, a devilish grin on his face.

Ginny grinned back, and they rushed to the nearest computer... but what they found was not what they expected.

"Malfoy?" 

Sure enough, Draco Malfoy was sitting at the desk, browsing through fanfiction.net.

"What are you doing here?" Malfoy asked, looking very surprised at being found.

"What are YOU doing here?  This IS Hermione's house," Harry said back.

"The mudblood's house.  What are the odds?"

"Don't you call her that," Harry threatened.

"I'll call her what I want, Potty.  And as for what I'm doing here, just say it's more sinister then you can imagine,"  Malfoy sneered.

But while this friendly exchange was going on, Ginny was sneaking closer to the computer.  When she got close enough to read what was on the screen she let out a small shriek.  "What is this?"

"Oh, it's er..." Malfoy started.

"That's disgusting," Ginny muttered after she was sure that Malfoy had no answer.

"What is it?" Harry asked, trying to get a good look.

"It's the one we read earlier.  You know... 'Fuck me, Draco,'" Ginny clarified.

"Malfoy was reading that?"  Harry began to laugh.

"Shut up, Potter.  It was the first thing I came across.  And I happen to think it's rather funny."

"Yeah, it's hilarious that someone would think you were better then me."

"What?  I am!"

"You so are not," Harry said, a small grin coming to his face.

"Does it matter?" Ginny interrupted.

"I have my manly pride, weasel.  Potter may not, but it matters to me."

"How about we concentrate on what your doing here?" Ginny asked, a touch of sarcasm in her voice.

"Oh...well...you see...I wanted to read some more of these things, so I went to a random  house in the closest muggle town."

"Sounds very sinister," Harry grumbled.

"Believe it or not, I do think about other things then evil plots for world domination."

"Like what?  Mas-"

"Don't even finish that, Potter," Malfoy growled.  He turned back to the computer and continued to read.

"You do know that I think this is extremely disturbing," Ginny told him.

"Fine, I'll read one about me and my father.  Those are hysterical," Malfoy said, moving the screen back to the character selection.

"You are even more twisted then I thought you were," Harry grumbled.  "Would you leave?"

"No.  Don't feel like it."

Harry and Ginny looked at each other.  They seemed to be formulating a plan, telepathically.  With a small nod of her head, Ginny and Harry sprung into action.

Ginny ran to the fire place and threw in a handful of flu powder that was going to be used for tomorrow's trip to Diagon Alley.  Harry pants Malfoy, and then rolled his chair right in front of the fire place.

"What the f-" was all that Malfoy could say before Ginny yelled "Diagon Alley," and Harry pushed him (but not allowing the chair to go through) into the fireplace.

"Well, that was entertaining," Ginny commented.

"What do you say we go try to tear your brother of Hermione now?" Harry suggested, leading the way to the door.

"Probably a good idea.  They should have a dire need of oxygen by now," Ginny laughed.  And they went down stairs.

A/N:  I hope I kept Draco in character during that.  I always have trouble keeping him mean.  I just read to many Draco oriented stories.  What do you all think should happen in the next chapter?


	5. Hints of Drama

A/N: It's been a while, but I'm back.   I hope this chapter is as loved as the others were.  I like this chapter, so I hope you guys enjoy it.

Disclaimer:  It's mine!  My own!  My precious!  But no, it's not really.  It's J. K.'s, oh how we envy her and her money.  I heard she was richer then the Queen of England, is that true?  I doubt it, but you never know.  If anyone's wondering, I write the disclaimer last and I'm just filling up so I can make the story four pages long.  Ha!  I did it.  Okay, here's the actual fic now.  

Chapter 5

Ginny was correct when she assumed that Ron and Hermione would both could do with more oxygen by the time they got there.  However, that was the only thing she and Harry were correct about.

Ron and Hermione were arguing loudly when Harry and Ginny found them.

"Just because we're characters doesn't mean anything!" Ron was yelling.

"It means everything!  It means that everything we do is in someone's imagination!" Hermione shouted back.

"Okay, we're thinking too deeply about this!" Harry interrupted.  "Stop being silly.  Nothing has changed," he continued quietly, now that they were silent.  "We're still the same, because we've always been like this."

Everyone kept their voices still for a moment after he finished.  Ginny interrupted the silence by suggesting, "So, let's go read more fanfiction!"  Ron, Hermione and Harry laughed.

They made their way back up the stairs and into the room with the computer, the whole time, recounting Harry and Ginny's encounter with Draco Malfoy.  

"I should probably have the room sterilized," Hermione was saying  when she took a seat at the computer chair.  

"What should we read?" Harry asked as soon as she was logged on to the site.  

"Let's read something that doesn't involve any of us," Ginny suggested.

"Damn.  I want to read one about me and Fleur," Ron complained.

"Too bad," Hermione said.

"Yeah, they'd be hard to find, anyways.  Everyone thinks you two should get together," Harry said, receiving glares from his friends.  Ginny snickered.

"I have an idea about what we should read," Hermione said, evilly.  She moved the characters to Harry and Ginny.

"Don't you dare!" Ginny started to shout, but Hermione had already clicked.  "Ugh.  I hate you both," Ginny complained.

Ron, ignoring his sister's comment, began to read the first story's summary aloud.  "'For four years, all Ginny's ever thought about was Harry Potter.  When she finally met someone else, Harry can't stop thinking about Ginny Weasley.  What will happen?'"

"You've liked me for four years?" Harry asked her.

Ginny rolled her eyes.  "Oh please.  You think I'm that pathetic?  I only liked you for three years."

"Sure you did," Ron commented, and started to read the next summary.  "'Ginny's going through a rebellious stage.  Is there anyone who can bring her out of it?  Of course there is.  Harry Potter seems up for the challenge.'"

"Aw.... that's so sweet," Hermione crooned.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I'm sorry for saying that.  Can we please look at something else now?" Harry pleaded.

"Fine.  What do you want to see?" Hermione relented.

"Hmm..." Harry browsed the list of characters.  "Ooh!  Let's do something with Lockhart!"

"And Snape!" Ron shouted.  "Lockhart and Snape!"

Hermione, not complaining, went to the Lockhart/Snape sections.  "Snape/OC... Snape/OC... What are all of these Snape and OC's doing here?" she asked, scrolling down.

"What's an OC?" Ginny asked.

"Original character," Hermione explained.  "A person that the author made up.  Ha!  Here we go.  'Severus's pregnancy,' this should be interesting.  "'Sevvie is pregnant, what will he do?'" she read from the summary.  "Anyone want to read it?"

"NO!" Ron and Harry yelled in unison.  Ginny and Hermione laughed at them.  

"I thought you two wanted to read this in the first place," Ginny commented.

"We changed our minds," Harry said.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Ron complained.

"Let's just read a Tonks and Remus," suggested Harry, who was looking a little green himself.

Hermione, after muttering, "Homophobics," went to the Tonks/Remus page.  There, they read a normal, nice, G-rated fic.  They laughed occasionally at the sheer insanity of it.  After all, neither character seemed to be acting like themselves.

The door creaked open and they all turned.  The rather tired looking form of Hermione's father stood there.  "Hermione," he started, "can you tell us why it's three in the morning and you're getting visitors."

"Hey," Fred said as he walked around Hermione's father into the room.  "We were bored."

"Thought we'd drop by," George added, also coming into the room.

Hermione rolled her eyes.  "Sorry, dad.  They'll sleep with Ron and Harry tonight.  We'll send them back in the morning."

"I don't mind them here," he said.  " But I'd rather they didn't show up at such a late hour."  He sounded rather cross, and slammed the door as he went, presumably, back to bed.  

"So, what have you all been up to?" Fred asked, looking at the computer.

"And what is this funny square shaped thing?" George asked.

A/N:  That was fun!  Much better then doing the loads of chemistry homework I have to do.  I hate chemistry.  I also hate Spanish, because I have a test on that on Monday too.  You know what, I hate school.  Anyways, I'm probably loosing you guys.

Anyone with a suggestion is welcome to make it.  I might not always listen, but remember that this was only going to be one chapter long until someone suggested I make it longer.

Ta-ta.  


	6. FredGeorge W

It's been a while, but here it is!  Hopefully just as funny as the last ones were.  I'd like to thank Natalie Potter731 for suggesting that bit about the name.  Her idea.  I

Chapter 6

"This is appalling!" George shouted.

"Just wrong," Fred muttered.

"An abomination!" George yelled.

"Stop yelling, George.  You'll wake my parents," Hermione said soothingly.  "It's really not that bad-"

"Easy for you to say.  They didn't combine your name with someone else's," Fred said.

"Fred/George W.  Please," George muttered.

"You want to see something really bad?" Ron said, an evil grin on his face.  He grabbed the mouse and found the story that they had been reading earlier.  

"Rebound Love is Hell," George read, skipping the summery.  "Scroll down, Ron."

"No!" Hermione shouted, realizing what this was. 

"Don't yell, Hermione.  You'll wake your parents," Harry said with a smirk.  

"Hmph," Hermione said, folding her arms across her chest.  "This is so not fair."

Mean while, Fred and George were reading the story.  "Ew," Fred muttered after a while.

"I dunno, Fred.  I kind of like it," George said, winking and throwing an arm around Hermione's shoulders.  "You in need of any comfort at the moment?"

Hermione glared.  "If only I could hex you without getting expelled from school."

Laughing, Fred clicked on the like back to all Harry Potter stories.  "Let's see how many stories are about us?" he said, scrolling down to "Fred/George W." and leaving the second character space blank.

A list of stories came up.  Fred began to skim the summaries.  "Boring... boring... another Hermione one?... that one sounds boring too... wait... TWINCEST?" Fred said, suddenly exploding.

"Oh, I'm going to spew," George said holding his stomach.

Hermione, however, clicked on the link and scrolled down until the reached the naughty bits.

"Ugh," said Ginny.  "They do realize that they're brothers, right?"

"I'm not sure what these people think," Ron said.  He was looking really grossed out, but couldn't tear his eyes away from the computer screen.

"Alright!" George said, clapping his hands together.  "Let's do something else."

"I agree," said Fred.

"Let's look at the Snape and Lockhart ones," George suggested.

"Let's really not," Ron interjected.  "They're disgusting."

"We could look at-" But what Ginny was about to suggest, no one ever found out.  Because, at that very moment, Draco Malfoy came charging through the fire place.

"That was not a good move, Potter," he said, his voice menacingly low.

"What'd he do?" George whispered to Ron.

"Pantsed him and sent him to Diagon Alley," Ron expaliend.

"Nice," Fred commented.

"Oh yeah.  It was nice.  It was real fucking nice!" Malfoy yelled.

"I think he's upset," Ginny said keeping a straight face.

"I'm getting that picture," Harry said.  "Okay, Malfoy.  Let's look at this logically.  You can't do magic or else you'll be expelled from school.  You also can't really beat us up because there are six of us and you're a bit skinny.  What are you going to do?"

Malfoy froze for a moment.  "I'm going to tell you that what you did wasn't a good move," he finished weakly.

"In other words," George said, lowering his voice.  "You may have foiled my evil plans this time, Harry Potter."

"But next time, I will prevail!" Fred finished, making everyone break out in laughter.

Well, everyone but Malfoy.  "Oh, fuck you," was all he said before flooing back home.

A/N: Short.  Do you all really want this to go on?  I kind of lost plot ideas.  I have no idea where this is going.  I could turn this into a romance thing, but I could also just leave it here.  Or I could make it a big drama about not being real.  Or I could have them visit the stories you all suggested, but be warned, they will most likely be mocked.  I need suggestions.  Help me!


	7. Snape and Lupin

A/N:  Me:  Well, I've finally decided to do it. 

You all:  What?  Update?  It's about time!

Me:  No, not update, but I did do that as well.  I upped the rating to R, hope no one has a problem with that.  Not sure about the lesbian sex I have in this scene.  It might be to graphic for the itty bitty thirteen year old.

Mob of Thirteen year olds:  Die, Grace!  DIE!

Me: Hides

You all: She's so lame.  I wish she would just get on with the disclaimer.

Me: Fine, miss my witty banter.

Disclaimer: Fanfiction.net is not mine.  Nor are Snape and Lupin.  They are the works of J.K. Rowling, who is not me.  See, my name is Grace, and since that doesn't start with a J, I'm obviously not her.  Right, story is here:

Chapter 6

Severus Snape took the lid off of his sugar bowl.  Following this action, he poured five teaspoons of sugar into his mug of tea, then stirred it together.  Cautiously, he took a sip, trying not to burn his tongue on the hot liquid.

He sighed with relief at the sweet taste of his tea, closing his eyes to savor the drink.

A knock interrupted his enjoyment of his daily ritual.  He strode to his front door, his dark robes billowing out behind him, and swung it open.

"Good morning, Snape," Remus Lupin said cordially.

"Lupin," Snape replied bitterly, standing aside reluctantly to allow the werewolf entrance to his home.

Remus entered the hallway, glancing around quickly.  "So, where is this contraption?" he asked, strolling down the corridor into the living room.

"In there," Severus growled, somewhat put out that Remus already seemed to know where he was going.

Remus went over to the square machinery and tapped gently on the side.  "Hmm... doesn't sound hollow.  Possibly made of plastic.  At least on the outside.  What's it called again?  A copmuter?"  He mumbled most of this to himself, as though he didn't expect Snape to have the answers.

"Computer.  It's not hollow and is made of plastic on the outside.  It turns on like this."  He sighed exasperatedly as he pushed the power button.

"Interesting," Remus said vacantly as the computer powered on.  "And how did you figure all of that out."

"I read the instructions," Snape said plainly.

"Of course."  A moment of silence fell across the men as they waited for the computer to boot up.  "I... ahh... see you have tea," Remus said after a few moments.

Severus took a long sip of his tea, inwardly relishing the taste.  "Yes.  I'm afraid it's not to your liking though.  I have no sugar in my house."

Remus rolled his eyes, not disbelieving the man, but certainly upset that he would not be with tea this morning.  He silently cursed the Order for assigning them to this computer thing together.  Lupin, believing the screen to have completed it's loading process, crouched in front of the screen and placed his hands on the key board.  He then slowly typed the word "prick."

"That won't do anything," Snape snapped, pushing Lupin aside to kneel in front of the monitor himself.  "We need to find out what Death Eaters wanted with this silly piece of muggle nonsense.  They broke into the Thomas's home to look at this silly thing and they must have done that for a good reason."

Lupin signed angrily.  "I know that!  If you think you can do this better then me, why don't you bloody give it a try!"

Severus calmly reached over double clicked on the icon that allowed the computer to connect online.  "We'll visit recent sites," he muttered.  "Sources of information, much like books," he clarified in a mock understanding voice.  It only took him a few seconds to locate the last site visited.

"W w w dot fanfiction dot net?" Remus asked as he looked at the site.

"One would pronounce it 'Triple W period fanfiction period net,' obviously," Snape said snootily.

"Well let's go the section about books, shall we?" Lupin suggested, seemingly to change the subject.

"As if I would visit any of the other rubbish."  Snape clicked on books.  "Oh, for  Heaven's sake!" he nearly shouted when he saw the link entitled "Harry Potter."  "He's gone and made himself a website.  The insufferable moron!"

"A moron?" Remus asked, sounding surprised.  "Did you just say moron?"

"Indeed.  I was testing my American-ims."

"Well, they sound like rubbish.  And watch who you're calling a 'moron.'  That happens to be my best friend's son," Remus snapped.

"I'm terribly sorry," Snape responded, not sounding sorry at all.  "Let us see what Mr. Potter decided to reveal during this cry for attention.  Ah, yes.  This is very much like him.  'Harry Potter's uneventful summer may lead to romance after a visit to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.'  The prat!"

Lupin decided not to complain about his best friend's son being called a prat as he was not quite sure how stupid Harry was being at the moment.  "Did he really just give up the location of the Order?"

"It would seem so.  We'll have to read more into this to see the other details he decided to reveal while writing fiction about himself."  Severus clicked the link to the story.  After a few minutes of skimming through the story, Severus started to laugh.  "This isn't Potter."

"What?" Remus said suddenly.  He had been somewhat enjoying the story as he always thought Harry and Ron would make a somewhat nice couple.  "How can you be sure?"

"Well, I have been the boys teacher for the past five years, I can, in fact, recognize his writing skills.  He would never use the phrase 'swelled' when he could have easily used engorged."

"Ah, I see," Remus said in a disappointed voice.

"Also, I am sure he would not use the name 'TearyEyedDreamGrl' to write under.  It's much to feminine for him," Snape added, pointing to the place on the screen next to the label "author."  He emphasized this remark with another sip of his tea, which was beginning to cool.

"But the question is," Remus said, "who would break into the Thomas's house, using dark magic, just to access a story like this?"

"Draco Malfoy?" Snape suggested without hesitation.

Remus shot him a look.  "Even he's not that pathetic.  You sure you don't have any sugar?  I really am quite thirsty."

"No," Snape said, finishing his tea to hide his smile.  "I could get you some tea without sugar, however."

Remus sighed.  "Alright then."

"Let me get it for you then," Snape sneered.

"Thanks," Remus called as Snape stomped out of the room.  As soon as he was gone, a sneaky smile came to Remus.  He crouched over the computer and switched the back to the page where one could chose the settings.  He went to Snape's name, and then quickly thought of a likely counterpart.  He went to Hermione's name and clicked go.

He scrolled down until he found a promising fiction entitled "Love and Snape."  He skimmed the story looking for the "naughty bits" that were promised.  Finally, he found a scene where Hermione had finally gotten Snape alone.  She was busy straddling him, when the Real Snape (as in, the one who was not being written about) came back into the room with Remus's non-sweetened tea.

"What are you reading now?" he asked, moving forward to read over his shoulder.  "Oh!  Bloody hell, Lupin!  Get that off the screen!"

Remus snickered.  "It's amusing."

"It's disgusting.  I don't know how you can stand it.  She's a student, much younger then you.  It's disturbing that you even think about such things."

"I'm sure I could find something with her in it that you would enjoy," Remus said, a twinkle in his eye.

"I highly doubt it."

A few minutes later, both men were glued to the computer screen, reading an extremely smutty story.

_Hermione arched her back as she climaxed, her hands clutching the carpet on the common room floor.  "Oh God!" she shouted._

_Ginny looked up at her from between Hermione's legs.  "Don't tell me you've had enough?" she said, a sly smile on her rosy face._

_"Never," Hermione breathed, her chest heaving as she attempted to catch her breath._

_"Good," Ginny said, leaning up to kiss her, one body covering the other perfectly.  "Because I don't think I could stop if I tried."_

_Their lips met and Hermione could taste the sweet taste on her lover's lips.  She sighed as one of Ginny's hands slipped-_

"Oh, God," Remus said, clutching his mug of non-sweetened tea.

"I know," Severus replied.  "The writing is horrible,  'Taste the sweet taste?'  For goodness sake." 

"Perhaps the author was trying to hang on the R rating.  I've read a couple of complaints about the prohibition of NC17 fiction on this site," Remus suggested.

"Quite," Snape responded.  "Alright, Lupin.  I believed you've tried your best and all you've managed to do is give me horrible and inappropriate ideas about this girl," Severus said, referring to the aforementioned bet.

"I know," agreed Remus.  "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at either one of them ever again," Remus said, yet his eyes didn't leave the screen.

"Try being their teacher," Snape said absently.  "And put that mug down, you'll smash it into pieces."

Lupin placed his mug on the desk and then hit the back button.  "We have to find something else.  I can't read this anymore."

"What would you prefer?  Something with two leading men, perhaps?" Snape said, smiling as he sipped his new, and just as sweet, cup of tea.

Remus smiled sarcastically.  "I know you'd like to read one about Draco Malfoy and yourself."  He began to set the character settings to this pairing, as he spoke.

"Don't make me gag, Lupin," Severus said, placing his mug down next to Remus's in order to gain control of the mouse once again.  "Let's find a mutual interest, shall we?  Possibly something about the defeat of the Dark Lord.  I know these muggles are extremely silly, but perhaps one of them has a useful idea."

"If we must," Remus agreed, reaching for a mug of tea.

"Yes, this will do," Severus found as he read the second to last chapter of a novel length fiction.  "Wait, what exactly will they use that for?"

And just as he said this, Remus took a gulp of the tea in the mug he had grabbed, expecting it to be the bitter taste of the tea he had been given.  However, it was surprisingly, almost shockingly, sweet.  And, in his astonishment, he spit it all over the computer.

It took merely a few seconds for the computer to short circuit and shut down.

"You idiot!" Snape shouted after a few moments of shock.  "You bloody bastard!"

"I'm sorry!  I just... I thought you didn't have any sugar."

Severus rolled his eyes.  "I only told you that because you were rude enough to actually ask me for something to drink.  You had to spit it out, didn't you?"  He attempted to look at the information packet on the computer, but all it told him to do was take it to a shop.

"Well... I was... I mean... How much sugar did you put in there, anyways? "

Snape looked embarrassed for almost a full second.  "Get out of my house, you twit.  You can be the one to tell Dumbledore that we didn't find a helpful solution because you have not learned how to drink a cup of tea properly."

"Fine," said Remus, marching out of the house and slamming the door.

And Severus was left in his peace and quiet, once again, which was, after all, the way he preferred things.

A/N:  Wow, that was a long one.  Did you enjoy it?  Wait, don't answer that aloud, you have to review and tell me.  Silly reader.

Anyway, next chapter, I've decided to have the Dream Team (plus Ginny, Fred, and George) write their own fanfiction.  Anyone have any ideas about that?


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